wake alone

wake alone
morning
past mistakes
swirl and slip through me
like dreams
they fall away.


wrapped in blankets
a cocoon
I hold myself
awaiting my own
transformation.

s

I came before you repentant 

A prodigal girl 

Wanting 

home in your arms 

On my knees 

Begging 

Your forgiveness

As far away as the moon

validation

 smoke and explosions 

crowds who cheer

none of it masks

the depth of my fear

that all you wanted

was the feeling you got

the warmth of my body

under your touch

Angels

The fireworks reflected off the windows of the cars
 like a thousand sparkling diamonds

The cacophony of alarms and explosions 

mixed with the cheers of the crowd

as I walked alone,

 the cigarette in my hand 

replacing the warmth of your touch.

you have become a stranger

standing on a distant shore

welcoming new friends with open arms

while waving goodbye to the past

your back always turned from me

You say past is prologue

Past is not prologue
we are not bound
like slaves
to the wheel
of our histories
turning
over
and
over
creating
a rut
in the ground

No
instead
we are trailblazers
owning our destinies
mixing desire and development
crafting new paths
breaking old chains
becoming
who we want to be

Crazy he calls me

It cost me 60 dollars
for you to laugh in my face
and call me a tiger
but I'd do it all again

lay my heart on the floor
red at your feet
and watch you dance
all over my despair

your blue eyes
ice in your veins
all our bridges burnt
by your pride and my pain

and you can call me crazy
if you want to

Sparkling bubbles of regret

your name came up today
quite by accident
it floated to the top
of my little world
disturbed the surface
POP!
ripples
waves across my heart

remorse crosses my mind
like a hitchhiking veteran
coming back from the war
between my heart
and
my fear filled head

grey coat soldiers
won that war
my heart, still bitter
with
sparkling bubbles of regret

we missed our moment

and..

I miss you


your blues eyes

your sly smile

your sunshine