Because I cannot tell you that I love you:
I will ask about your day,
inquire after your family,
dig for your secrets.
I will say nothing of importance.
Because I cannot tell you that I love you:
My mouth will feel filled with sand
My lips like parchment
My tongue will swell and consume my whole mouth.
Petrified I will become as stone and wood.
Because I cannot tell you that I love you:
I will endure your teasing,
welcome your beatings,
beg your forgiveness.
(My skin under your touch, lightning during the storm.)
Because I cannot tell you that I love you:
My stomach will knot,
my legs shake,
my knees falter.
The unpredictability of my legs mirrors your actions.
Because I cannot tell you that I love you:
I will suffer.
Silently willing my wayward heart home again.
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