Bygones

my heart is all apologies
my mouth
my lips
my mind
I would rather hurt myself
than cause your eyes to cry.

Yet with every little part of me
I want to run and hide
from all your condemnations
recriminations and despair
as all the things I've done before
cloud and choke the air

we cannot breathe
the past is dust
and fresh air lies ahead
but first we have a task to do
put a demon in its bed

there's a madman
that's been stalking us
wearing your coat and hat
he feeds on pain and misery
and hides inside my flat

the rooms of my heart await you
but this impostors at the door
he's sniveling and crying
begging always for some more

just a bit more of my soul
my friendships my desire
until all that is left of me
is ashes in a pyre

So let us put the past away
let the bygones go
for forgiveness builds upon itself
and with it sorrows go.

You are the whole
of all my love
and all I am is yours
but I must see the real you
before I open up the door

It must be clear
that you my love
can see me for who I am
a woman who is complicated
who wants you as her man