A cruel reality bravely borne.

Her mind was a map of memories and as she traversed each road she discovered new paths of pain. Every new connection reminded her of the love she had lost. Where could she go? Nowhere was safe. Every song, every article, every sidewalk and familiar place brought with it infinite opportunities to create these the connections within her mind. Even the simple act of the sun shining on the freeway asphalt made her recall the long drives to his door. All of her natural habits now betrayed her. She could no more seek out the arms of another to obliterate the memory of his skin than she could slice the flesh from her bones. For better or for worse he had changed her. Imbued with this new knowledge she couldn't help but see the futility of her former actions. He had civilized her.  Nor could she roam the internet without risking stumbling across some article that she would have, in a former life, shared immediately with him. He had at once enlightened her and abandoned her. Unable to share these new thoughts with the one who had helped give them birth she was left to parent her growing consciousness alone.

Was it any wonder that she missed him? Who could she speak to now that would understand? She looked around and saw no one. All at once despair welled up inside her threatening her hard won calm. After all throughout the majority of their friendship it was his mind she had admired first and foremost. Her love for his body having taking longer to mature. Although it was worth noting that she missed his body. Each night, in bed, she replaced the warmth of the electric blanket with heat of his pale body near hers. Mornings were a cruel reality bravely borne.